My Three Beauty Sleep Impediments

As an unassuming stripling, my family would often quip that nothing, not even wicked torment itself, could wake me from my slumber. Well, I’ve aged. Today, as an ardent husband and soon-to-be proud papa, there are three vile, unwholesome obstructions to my slumber.

The first goes like this: a precipitous grumble and boom in my belly, several unforeseen and often acidic belches and one annoyed wife. This I’ll call irritable bowl parties. No, I’m not partying, but my girth seems to be having the most lawless house party ever, with all kinds of fist and foot pumps stepping to beat of the Beebs. Along with IBP, post-five-o-clock naps will always prevent me from sleeping when I lay my head. Finally, any late-night caffeine fixes, whether by coffee or Coke, will set on course a thought-against-thought rivalry in mind, as I wonder whether I left the toilet seat ajar, what morning action would best display my love for my love and how to best continue for a peaceable future, with many sleep-gorged nights.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s