The Futility of Fulminations

PostADay Topic #98: Write a rant about the pointlessness of rants.

Every day some lonesome recluse, some unruly fourth grader or some irate citizen unnecessarily scribbles or screeches their protest for or against a cause they deem worthy or unworthy. My two-year-old niece once physically curled and then hurled objections at my taking away a knife from her. Although I love her, I must say that a rant so useless must be barred, especially since the cause she deemed worthy may very well harm her.

Now, in the case where a cause is virtuous, I still don’t see the need for rants and fulminations. Firstly, one can just as easily communicate their convictions in a casual, understanding tone. And secondly, a casual tone provides opposers the opportunity to change their minds. For example, if my friend, Felix Rodriguez, sincerely loves to lick street pavement, I could scream, “What is wrong with you! That’s nasty! You should never do that again, especially in front of me! I’m going to vomit on your street pavement and make you lick it!”

Or I could pragmatically warn him, “Felix, street pavement has been known to cause inner-asphalt disorder, where one’s intestinal tract becomes hardened, blocking food and liquid from effortlessly flowing, ultimately putting you in the hospital.” While certainly this is a lie, I’ve at least given him relaxed and practical reasons to stop. A rant may only cause him to rebel more, moving from street pavement to sidewalks, and it also may break our friendship.


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